Minecraft Birthday Creeper

Happy Birthday, Minecraft…

Dear Minecraft,

I hear its your 11th Birthday today! Let me start by wishing you a very, very, “Happy Birthday!”

When I first heard about you, well I don’t really remember when or where that was. It was probably from some gaming website somewhere and I probably thought “oh, that’s curious.” I didn’t mark my calendar. (Sorry.)

Then came all the merch. YOU were a celebrity. Store shelves at Target and Walmart held your wares. Physical representations of the imaginary cogs that make up your bits and pieces. I even got my daughter a “redstone” toy as a stocking-stuffer one year. Wow.

I WAS curious about what made you who you are, but a little afraid of you.

Then we were introduced. Jason and Martin (your “admirers”) bragged about you. They gushed over their love for you. (I’m pretty sure that their wives are a little jealous of you, and who could blame them? Look at you!)

Your admirers took me to their Minecraft Realm, where I saw your inner sanctum. I was overwhelmed. It was AMAZING. An indescribably large digital landscape where they had, no doubt, spent countless hours avoiding their responsibilities, boring tunnels through “rock” to make a 15-minute long train ride. The recreated landscapes from Star Wars. The machines built with parts of all manner to accomplish tasks with an almost Rube Goldberg level of insanity.

They wanted to share your wondrous nature.

Alas, I still didn’t get you.

You are, without a doubt, a beautiful and wonderous creature, beyond almost any that mankind has envisioned before.

However, I can’t love you.

As they say, “Minecraft, it’s not you, it’s me.” I don’t get you.

All you do is take and take.

All of your little pieces. I see how it would end up. I’d have to do all the work in this relationship. All I would be doing is picking you up and putting you back together. Spending hour upon hour, with you taking and taking, and getting nothing in return. So maybe “it’s not me, it’s you.”

Maybe I could learn to love you. But you can never love me back.

Don’t be sad. You have plenty of adoring fans that keep coming back. You have Jason and Martin… Your “admirers.”

What more could one, such as you, ask for?

So, I say again – Happy 11th Birthday Minecraft.

Detracfully yours,

Kevin