Perusing the internet recently, we stumbled across this interesting nugget about Cyberpunk 2077. Apparently, Cyberpunk 2077 will feature, among grusome scenes and unadulterated violence, the ability for players to augment the size of their genitals. Allow me to explain…
Cyberpunk 2077, a hotly anticipated title from CD Projekt Red, hot on the heels of the critically acclaimed The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt, was treated last week to the honor of an ESRB rating of “M” *(for “Mature”). Detailing its decision to bestow this rating, the Entertainment Software Association described in its rating that “Characters use handguns, machine guns, rifles, and explosives during frenetic firefights with humans and cybernetically enhanced enemies; players can also use melee weapons (e.g., wrist-mounted blades, enhanced limbs) to stab enemies and, in some cases, dismember them.” The ESRB description continues, detailing various other aspects of the gory combat that may take place.
Additionally, the M rating was earned due to various depictions of blood, gore, nudity, sexual content, drugs, alcohol, violence… It is even details that “During one quest, players assist a character by hammering nails through his hands and feet; screaming sounds and blood effects accompany the scene.” I don’t know, but that sounds an awful lot like a crucifixion to me.
As if that all wasn’t quite enough on its own, perhaps the most amusing part in the rating is the following:
“The game contains nudity and sexual material: Players can select a gender and customize their character; customization can include depictions of breasts, buttocks, and genitalia, as well as various sizes and combinations of genitals.“
I’m sorry…. what?
Cyberpunk 2077 will feature many three legged people…
The implication seems to be that Cyberpunk 2077 features the ability to.. adjust the size of your avatar’s “bits and pieces.” While this is not the first game to feature such an… adjustment…it is certainly an uncommon avatar customization. Does this mean there won’t be any socks in the game?
This can mean only one thing. Imagine the amount of players strolling around Night City with giant bulges, asking “is that a banana in your pocket?” Frankly, I hope there are some players out there that have the courage to move that genital adjustment slider all the way to the left and play on the merits of their ability, and not the size of their.. gun.
You can find the full text of the ESRB rating rating here: https://www.esrb.org/ratings/36949/Cyberpunk+2077/. Cyberpunk 2077 is coming to the Xbox One, Xbox Series X, PlayStation 4, Windows PC and Google Stadia. Current release date is September 17th, 2020. Pre-orders are available at https://www.cyberpunk.net/. Mark your calendars!